Counting Back

I find myself counting back a lot.

That is the only way to get anywhere on time

When I have to be somewhere at noon...

then I count back fifteen minutes for travel

fifteen more for Bo to get down the steps

ten minutes for each child to get dressed

ten minutes...or two minutes for me to get dressed

and that is my start time

Lately

I feel it has been hours

That is why at the end of the day

I wonder where the day went

I know we often talk about wanting more time in the day

but really

how does it all get done

I don't mean the little stuff

like laundry, mopping, dishes on and on 

I am over the fact that that never gets done

and when it is done

a new pile awaits you the next day

I am talking about counting back so each child gets a bedtime story

some warm milk

hug kiss and prayers

I think I need to start at four in the afternoon

I am thinking as I am expecting number four

right when he or she is Baylens age

may be when I have figured it out

just then

when they are all 12    9   6   and 3

maybe then when I have been doing this for a long time

I will have it

Maybe that is why my mom always has such good advice

It is a shame you always get it

when you are nearing the end

That is how a lot of things in life are

I guess we live and learn

learn and live

I like this journey

I like trying new things and trying to get better each day

It is fun to watch my mom with my kids

being able to do it again

I am so thankful for that

I know that this one is it

as far as my plan goes

But know that God has our sweet little family in the palm of his hands

and as much as I toss and turn

wondering if all is good

it is

because it is all done as I focus on 

serving and being the best I can be

I learn my lessons daily

I try to never beat myself up

but just learn from mistakes

and smile and the joy

there is SO much joy

Focusing on lately

not giving God my leftovers

I want to make sure each day

as I count backwards

making sure I have given the kids and my husband

and the dog

enough time

that God is not just left with what is left

I know He understands the season I am in right now

But I want to make sure I don't just carve out a section for Him each day

like I would a naptime

or dinnertime, storytime etc

He is in every moment 

of my everyday

that is how I find my balance

letting Him lead me

as I lead others....