Just another day....

Here is the cool train track that Baylen invented in his head...

and it was actually pretty fun to build....

Check out Piper peeking in the back

 
Daddy.....Bo.....and I had a hero factory competition.....and yes....mine is the really tall one in the middle :)

 get ready...this is the cutest series of pictures EVER

 Baylen and I's battle

 I am so excited about preschool projects coming home....talking about manners and what makes us feel happy! Cover your mouth when you sneeze.....

 So I was bringing Baylen lunch on the couch...which is where I left him...and he was not there....I did not notice him walk through the kitchen....I panicked for a moment....there was no sound...I walked around the sofa and look at what I saw....he said....You founded me! Love it

 and then we built a fort....

I love McRae is a mommys boy
and conforms to me
I love that Bo loves to love me
I love that Baylen loves to be held
I love that Samantha has the sweetest kindest heart and I really get her.....

OMG
As in
OH
My GOSH
I am now truly balancing the balls in the air
and I do indeed love it
but....having a 10 year old in fifth grade that has some hormones already acting
A seven year old that is still struggling to read
A preschooler that thinks he runs this place (he really could)
and a infant
I would say
I have all the bases covered.....

I actually was pretty calm today as McRae was crying and wanting to eat....as I was trying to explain multiplying decimals to Samantha....as Bo was crying in the yard because Piper was eating his hat...and baylen was wanting me to put him in the fourth costume in five minutes.....I needed more hands...
Not to mention I had to go teach a yoga class in ten minutes
which was suppose to teach being caaaaaaallllllllllmmmmmmmm
But, it got done
and with a smile
Samantha agreed that she did not understand
and was not going to understand
and through the fit and tears
and arms crossed and huff and puffs
she calmed herself
and stopped
took a break
and agreed that this was something that we just needed to work on
she found her zin
and McRae did indeed get feed....and I even snuck his antibiotic in the bottle so he never knew....
and Piper let go of the hat...and Bo got over it really fast....and even started to like that she was the enemy...
And Baylen....got the costume on half way
and we were out the door....half dressed
but happy
So barefoot
and half Indian Jones and half batman
we made it
and class was great
and nobody would have ever known
what our hour consited of and what our morning was like....
which started as what I thought was and eight o clock orhto appt straint to back to school for sam straight to school for baylen and a 9 o clock appt for mcrae...which turned into a long ortho appt...shoes forgotten...a book forgotten...a few freak outs....hauling all three to McRaes appt due to time crunch...spending lots of time there and three prescriptions later....only to make sam miss over an hour of school versuse 40 minutes...and baylen about an hour.....
that again shows me...right when I have a plan....it really most likely won't work that way....
you got to give yourself wiggle room...lots of it
and when it does not work
keep calm and laugh it off....is it really a big deal?
It was just to come home to dinner
play practice
bathes
bedtime books
and laughs
cuddles
and some icecream
So, it is after nine...still one up
but he is laying on me
it was a great day
it was a great day because it did not go as planned
it was a great day because we are all okay
it was a great day because we stayed calm did not raise voices and smiled through it all
It is amazing that when you see life is hard...or difficult or not exactly what you planned...well that is life
We cant control that
what we can control is our reaction
I choose to not react
to take it in stride
and smile
and know one day I will miss working on fifth grade homework that never ends
and teach a seven year old to read
and I will miss looking at baylens face as he sleeps in our bed in the morning
and packing lunches
and reading bedtime stories
and rocking McRae to sleep feeding him a bottle
and humming a song
as he plays with his hair
and swirls it
One day I will miss stepping on legos
folding little clothes and sweeping up smooched goldfish
putting on little shoes
wiping snotty noses and brushing little teeth
wiping faces in a bubble bath
walking hand in hand into elementary schools
and reviewing homework and newsletters...going to their games...looking at what the kids made at preschool and hanging it up....
one day i will miss taking pictures of their sports...going to storytime.....
changing diapers...playing leggos and building big towers....
and cuddling watching cartoons
making breakfast...lunch and dinner...
listening to baylen talk with a lisp
seeing McRaes sweet innocent smile
girl to girl talks with sam....shopping with kids....footie pj's and how the kids say certain words
and Bo's excitement for everything he does and dances
I will miss all of it....and more
so for now...I am soaking it up
and not regretting a thing
not regretting when things did not go quite right...or just as planned
but knowing that this is life
doing it over and over again is what it is all about
I make a promise to myself everyday
I will live in each and every moment
good or bad
I will love the fits as much as the smiles
I will love the hustle as much as I love the chill time
I will love it all.....it is what it is all about
but the most important part I have to remember is not to look back too far
and be sad at what has past
or look to far ahead and get anxious about what is to come
but stay snug right where I am
and enjoy it
its sounds cliche' I know
but it is so true
and you can;t say it enough
I will look at my kids in the eyes when they talk to me...and be present in theri moment
even if it feels like each of them are only getting a fourth of me....at one moment sometimes
it all evens out to a whole
and they all make me whole
that make me complete.....

HOW DID THIS HAPPEN?

Where did the time go...

Part one of walking down memory lane....

FIRST DAY OF 2's 

MS MARY JILL

2 years old

FIRST DAY OF 3's

MS FRAN

3 years old

FIRST DAY OF PRE-K

MS MARY ELIZABETH

four years old

FIRST DAY OF KINDERGARTEN

MRS LI

5 years old

FIRST DAY OF FIRST GRADE

MS ROGERS

6 years old

FIRST DAY OF SECOND GRADE

MS BRINK

7 years old

FIRST DAY OF THIRD GRADE

MS. SHEALY

8 years old

FIRST DAY FOURTH GRADE
MS. SELLECK

9 years old

FIRST DAY OF FIFTH GRADE

MS SELLECK

10 years old

PLEASE LORD LET ME NEVER FORGET

HOW SWEET SAMANTHA IS

AND HOW WE HAVE THE MOST GROWN UP CONVERSATIONS 

YET SHE IS STILL SO YOUNG AT HEART WAS WANTS TO STAY THAT WAY

BO'S DANCE MOVES 

AND HOW HE CAN BE THE MOST LOVING OF THEM ALL

AND THAT HE IS TRYING TO READ AND WRITE SO VERY HARD

HE GETS BETTER EACH DAY

THA BAYLEN IS A WHIZ KIDS

AND CAN PLAY WITH BOS LEGOS FOR HOURS

THAT McRAE IS STILL A BABY  THAT i CAN CUDDLE

Whooooo
What a day
McRae I forgot what it is like to have a baby with a bad cold...no sleep for you....
I do wish I had the time to just rock you all day....little did I know that when I had Samantha that is what I could do
Through all the snot...you still smile.....
Baylen...I am trying to prepare myself for tomorrow
Your first day of school...kinda
We went to to your open house today and it was so great
I love how you clung to my leg...but ventured out quickly and loved it
I love signing up for parties....
I love signing up for fieldtrips and seeing calandars about themes you will learn
As much as I think I want you here with me every moment.....I miss so much the things that you will make with your little hands on them....
I have been hoarding you...it is time to let  your light shine....
I treasure all the time we have together though...just you and me...and McRae
He is our side kick
We built so much today, it was so fun....
And then it is amazing how your day can change when two little people get off a bus
We were at the corner to greet them...Baylen in a flash mask and a stick!
Samantha had the saddest look on her face
She said she could not talk about it now....we needed to meet in her room, she said come in when I got the boys settled (yeah right)
So, I went in and the drama started.....it broke my heart....it was all about safety patrol....she broke my heart
To see the look of disapoitment on your kids face is PAINFUL
We talked and talked and talked some more
As I delt with the coming and goings of the boys....crying about torn capes...piper biting them...needed a snack and more juice and McRae's crys
We talked
And then we emailed and got our thoughts out
And then we talked to teachers
and emailed some more
and then it was six o clock
And my afternoon had not gone like I had planned it
at all
and yes
there was guilt
I felt I had given my all to Samantha....
but Baylen and Bo not so much
This then put Bo in a bad mood....because he was getting angry often at his brother....
and there was hitting and name calling
And then it was off to play auditions....which three boys in a small room for thrity minutes...was not exactly amazing
but we survived
and got home.....and had a crazy bath time
lots of water on the floor
clothes everywhere
and running through the house
dishes were not done
tubs were not drained
and dessert orders were being yelled
As McRae would not settle....
Finally
all were set in their beds
and daddy walks in
it always works like that....
but not for long...first Sam was up with needing tissues and to talk a little more
Bo crying because he was not sure he would go to heaven
Baylen needing more snack
and McRae a little more rocking
It is not ten and I can't wait to go to sleep
to start this all again
I try so hard to enjoy every moment....but sometimes being in every moment causes you not to be able to be in every moment....does that make sense?
I kinda dread walking Baylen into school in the am....I will need Gods peace
Thank goodness I will walk out with McRae
even though baylen would not be going if McRae was not here
So goes to show what a blessing McRae is....in so many ways!
Deep breath what a day
Just goes to show you never know what life will give you
I just pray sooooo hard that my kids will always know that I am there for them
That is always my fear
that when I tend to one, the other one needs tending
It is such a balance....

Samantha I love that you love to talk to me
Bo I love that you have such deep deep questions
Baylen I love to watch you play and your lisp
McRae I love how your body molds to me and you just hang on......

Bo's first day of  first grade...love that Boy

We have been having some deep talks lately

He sat up front with me to go to his first hip hop class

He asked me out of the blue

what is forever mom

like what is forever

like what IS forever

I remember laying in bed at his age

looking up at the ceiling 

and wondering the same thing....

over and over

and it was a concept I could not get

He is such a deep thinker

deeper then any of my kiddos

He really ponders....

He wanted to know when you were in heaven and you were there forever what did that really mean

he went on and on

like he wanted to go to see and come back

 I told him you could not do that

He said he did one day

I told him it was just a dream....he asked how do you know

You know

Bo asks what we all think but just don't ask

that little brain is ALWAYS on

it may not be thinking about what we think it should be thinking

but it is always thinking

He loves to be read to 

cuddled and made feel special

he does not require much

He saw a homeless man and asked me where the bag off goods were for him 

that we have in our car

But we were in daddys's car

so we searched quickly and found a granola bar

and I unrolled the window and he handed it to him

and then Bo looked at me and said

that feels SOOOOO good

I promise you right now

that boy will be in mission work....

Oh Samantha

You are cute as a button

I love how you love to pick your outfits

and you look so cute

so good cute

not cutie cute like baby cute

but cute

I love that you watch brady bunch everyday and want to wear your hair like Jane

It is hard to know when you want me there and when you don't 

sometimes I feel like I am on a rope being pulled in and let out

You give me looks

Talk sternly 

but the next minute you want to hug and hold hands

We gotta come up with a signal

I want to be there for you

but not too there if you know what I mean....

wow

and this is just the start of it

 Bo loves to make things with his legos....like really build cool things...he will work for hours...not just acting them out but really creating neat things....he puts so much thought and time into it...and places them so carefully....and it beside himself if baylen goes anywhere near....they are either best buddies... or at each other like oil and water

 Mcrae is about to be eight months and is just now eating...sitting at the big table and loving it...finally!!!! He loves corn and watermellon/ You started to crawl this week too...at body plex and sleep through the night....big big week for Crae Crae!

 This is how much my kiddos love TACO NIGHT They could eat it every day...they eat and eat and eat

 Yes that piece you see missing...came from baylen scooping a big piece out with his HAND!

 POP POP's birthday

 Look at that cutie...blonde hair and wanting to stand....I am blessed... still can't believe I have this little guy...still have to pinch myself...

OMG these are the two cutest kiddos ever.....well baylen and Bo are pretty darn cute too....but these two I think may be BFF's for life!

 Can you believe I am just not posting  his 6 month pic!

 Can you tell Mommy needed coffee....Starbucks helped me through the night drive...Jittery Joes picked me up in the am.....

 It is when he is sleeping he still looks like a newborn to me...freeze frame it....stop growing Cra! I can't beleive you crawled tonight for the first time...you are offically mobile!

 In the bed at 7:30...both VERY excited about starting 1st and 5th grade in the morning...and on another note....Barrow Elementary looks AMAZING...it is the Jetsons Modern meets classic old five points...absolutely PERFECT....now let me go steal the tissues from the kids backpacks because I now have a Fifth Grader.....and not a kindergartner anymore....thank goodness I have a tot and and baby at home...who by the way started to crawl this afternoon!!!!

Something funny Baylen said today...he is into whatever Bo is....so he was talking about fighting off Batman and killer crock and two face...who ever that is...but he called two face...toothpaste....I LOVE how he says things...please let my brain never forget it!!!!! 

got to get caught up

So school is only a few days away and beach time is winding down
I have mixed emotions
I love summer days spending with family
but I also love schedule
It will be great to get back to blogging....it really is my way to journal about what I love most
family....
I plan to have scheduled days for blogging....

As for now....
the kids have done and said so much
Samantha is still her spunky self...with braces and a cute haircut, which she loves to brush. She has her moments of out burst, pure anxiety crazy yelling out of control attacks, but they are quickly backed with a sweet I'm sorry. She is the most genuine sweet girl. She wants to do good all the time, she is such a helper and and rule follower. She is a people pleaser and wants to impress and do her best. I love her so much and I hope she knows it. She helps me so very much and I think she truly loves her brothers....she really does. She has my figure I am starting to see....and her daddy says my personality....I love that girl....I love she loves to dress cute and polished. I love that she is so polite, loves sports and is a go getter. I love that she loves camp and is not afraid to leave home, yet at the same time loves on lovie and wants to be right by my side often, and craves attention. You are quite the artist and good at all that you do....

Bo amazes me daily. I love his laugh, I love his hoarse voice and the vein that sticks out of his neck. I love that he always puts his clothes on backwards. I love that not too many people understand him, but I do. I love that he loves to ride his bike, be in imagination worlds and is so passionate about what ever it is that he is into. I love how sensitive he is. He seems tough but at a drop of a hat he will be curled in my lap tearing up. He is tender hearted...he loves to talk big, but he loves snuggles and me singing you are my sunshine. I love the stories he makes up, tells and writes. I love that he is into drawing and writing now. I love that he can tell a story like no other..he loves to have time together to get yogurt and play a game. He loves to rub your arm and say I love you mommy. He has a temper, but never lasts and never holds a grudge. He goes from 100 miles an hour all day long to asleep, there is no in between. He does not know how to talk quietly, he only has a loud button....he never ever means to mess up or do wrong, and often looks surprised when he does,,,he means well, always wants to do the right thing,,,,even if we have to tell him 10 times what that is....

Baylen...you love to make everyone laugh. I love your laugh and when you look at your brother and sister to see if what you said was funny. I love how you get stuck on something and can't get off of it...you say it over and over and over again. I love your blonde long hair, seeing you were bald for so long. I love that you love to wear collard shirts and khaki pants. I love you love to look crisp and put together. I love you do not like a mess...things that are sticky or out of place and that you love to organize things....I love how your hair looks when you first wake up and how you are in pjs dragging a blanket and a frog pillow. we are getting the passy under control. I love that you have to go potty every five minutes...that you don't like to be messed with and that you love love to swim and have no fear. I love your lisp and how you say lemlalade...and many other words I have mentioned in the past. I love that you have your own agenda and only are going to do what you want to do and do it how you want to do it..I love your mouth and how it looks like mine, your dimples and the funny faces you make...dances you do when nobody is watching and how you enter shy mode

McRae...even though you have not been here long I love you to pieces. You have completed the fourth chamber of my heart. you are the happiest smiliest baby EVER. Everyone says you smile so much, that is all I hear all day. I think you will be like that forever...always smiling and just enjoying life. I love to look at you and how you just go with the flow...you just are good with what we do....I will say you love to pinch. You have left so many bruises on mommy. You pinch like no other and I think I will never forget that! Thank you for being my little miracle...my breath of fresh air and I look forward to blogging your every move....oh and you love to jump, will not eat food and rub your hair when you drink a bottle....