Thursday, May 12, 2016

Look who got a library card and checked out books....and is VERY excited




Easter photo shoot

 how I spend my nights....


Bo being Bo







This is how we roll at walmart....barefoot...pjs... stolen stickers that we later had to buy and in the wine isle
and they are OUT
after the championship game at CCHS for CMS she LOVED it
just how we do it after a win at Holland
half marathon and tuned 13....check!1
not to mention you won your age group! 2 hours 17 minutes....oh yeah!

Feeling very blessed tonight.
I say this in a hesitant way because just because I feel like I have everything in the world I would still feel blessed if the world came crashing down. Blessed to me is knowing that Jesus has my back. Knowing that Jesus gave me EVERYTHING and I did NOTHING to deserve or earn it. NOTHING. I did not ask to come into this world. Jesus put me here. I prayed for each of my children. I found myself worrying about each of them. And in the end...it was Gods hand that brought them to me in his time frame. Just like he placed the perfect husband for me in my path. I find each day a challenge. To live with anxiety is a true challenge. You never know when a dark cloud will come up and take over your world. Not a sad cloud, not a cloud that you can just run and take cover. But one that comes out of nowhere that you have to just ride out. It is a daily struggle to find that sunshine. Not the sunshine as if being happy over being sad. But sunshine knowing that God is truly in control of every breath and move I make. When I hand it over to Him I truly have peace and sunshine. When I am feeling sad that a chapter of my children is closing...I choose to be happy and excited about the new chapter that is about to start. I want to live in the day. Not agonize about the past or be anxious about the future.
My 13 year old Samantha brings be so much Joy. Her smile, her eyes her sweet tender pure heart. Her yearning to have one foot in her childhood and one foot in adulthood. As we ran 13 miles together I both thought of the 13 years of joy she has brought me and the many years I pray that we will draw closer....
My 10 year old Bo, is challenging me. I spend most of my prayer time with this one. I pray for patience and piece. He too has one foot in childhood and one in  I don't know what. He shows me glimpses of the younger round faced Bo...but quickly catches me off guard with vanity and a snippy attitude. I pray to take the opportunity to take it as a challenge to be patience. I can't imagine what his little mind has to go through.
My 6 year old Baylen, is a breath of fresh air. I love how he thinks. He over thinks, but yet he does not. He is such a blend of his older sister and brother. He analyzes yet does not stress. He is constantly hungry trying to feed that huge brain. He loves to read and be sung to. I treasure his innocence yet big boy trapped in a little boy body
Oh my 3 year old McRae. Are you Happy Mommy...a common statement form my bundle fury. He keeps me on my toes. I love him to the moon and back. God blessed me with him cause God knew how bad I wanted him. What a perfect bookend to the first born that I prayed so deeply for. He is such a smart boy. He is such his own person, not really a blend of any of this siblings....he my has Samanthas eyes, Bo's face shape and Baylens brains...but he is SO his own...no way God would make two of that Crae Dog.....