Many times today
I did not know what day it was
Now that Grammy is gone
and I got into her house
I feel like she has stepped out
just for a moment
the memories of her being sick
are gone
I go right back to when she was okay
and it is odd
that she is not in that kitchen
waiting for us to come busting it
We have seen Grammy so
so sick
for twelve weeks now
It has been so hard to watch
but now that she is at peace
it is like she has taken that hardship with her
and now
all of the memories of healthy grammy
are rushing in
and it is hard
really hard
because I don't like it
when she is not there
we were lost tonight
getting dinner on the table
no one knew what exactly what to do
Even when grammy was sick
and in her chair
she let us know
when it was time
to do what
It was hard
not having her at the table
I did indeed
do the job
she assigned me over thirteen years ago
drinks
I took the cups
and filled them with ice
I even got a new job tonight
I got to make coffee
for pop pop
and he graciously
said it was good
but I know
it was not
grammy good
but that is okay
we will
keep taking care of him
and letting him know
that we are all here
and hurting together
It was hard getting pictures togehter
and music picked
but it will be perfect
so
today was not easy
but it was better then yesterday
we are all still in a daze
taking it one step at a time
I am learning
and cherishing
so many things
For months now
Grammy would take Baylen
by the hand
and put him on her lap
and feed him
bite after bite
of ice cream
then
we would have to take him to her
and put him in her lap
but it was still there thing
even in the end
Baylen would go
and sit on grammys lap
and expect his ice cream
everytime
Tonight
Baylen did not want me
he walked over to Aunt Ann
who resembles her so
and lead her to the table
and she fed him
ice cream
and kissed him
and loved him
and Baylen
smiled real big
and knew
that he still had grammy
right there with him
and always will
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