Kinda Random...but I do have a point

I will probably seem all over the page

but I will have a point

I feel overwhelmed with so much emotion

and trying to balance

as usual

everything

I am struggling with wanting to do everything....

The list starts

with wanting to thank everyone

that has been so kind

We have had such an out pouring of love

it is absolutely amazing

It makes me

want to be

a better person

Which brings me to goal number one...

I will let others know

on a daily basis

how much I appreciate them

Below you will see just a handful of cards that have been send

Each one so special

and so thoughtful

and so helpful....

Now...

moving on to goal two...

Like I said earlier

I struggling with wanting to do it all

When I am not thinking about wanting to thank everyone

for all they do for me

I am thinking about all the things I want to read

For self help

grief

parenthood

devotion

organization

fitness

and on

and on

So, of course I buy the books

and then don't have time to read them

so they sit on my shelf

as you can see below

and I keep seeing more

and it becomes overwhelming

My mind starts wondering about what all is out there

that I could read

that would make me the perfect

mom

wife

christian

organizer

fitness instructor

And then I look at the kids
and wonder
how it would be
to have a childlike mind
where all you think about
is the moment
Like Bo
and his friend Jayme
and Baylen
and his bottle
Yes,
no worries in the world

And I think of my sweet Samantha
which you will see in the letter she wrote to her teacher below
showing that it seems
I have passed on my worry
to her
Always being concerned
about doing her best....
I found this note in her backpack...

So

here we are

With a million goals

and a million and one start overs

and a millions to do's

and even more I wonders and only if's

Yes

I would love to eat perfect each day

Have a devotion

a clean house

a perfect attitude

play with my kids each time they ask

get everything checked off my to do list

please everyone

Never worry

have the perfect workout

capture every memory

etc

etc etc

But

I think the lesson here is

that

that is not what God intended

We want to plan it out

make if perfect

But that is his job

we are to wait

listen

and know

that what we are doing at that moment

is what is meant to be

Even if it does not seem perfect in our eyes

There is a reason

for the journey

So

Sitting a storytime today with Baylen

was the most perfect thing ever

Listening to Bo tell me a story

savored every minute

Hearing Samantha tell me about a company that she is making

where she is making cell phones

awesome

Yes

As a million things roll through my mind each minute

I with breath in

and out

and know

that just because all the junk tries to bog me town

I will tred though that clutter

and know

that what is meant to be

will unfold right before my eyes

as soon as I let it