too upset

I'm not usually too upset to write

I have been more upset

But tonight

I just can't go there

I am a different sad

then I have been

I am so hurt

by watching others hurt

I am surronded

by the ones

I love most

hurting

that hurts

like something awful

Samantha had a deep

deep

belly cry

She is hurt

scared

worried

all in one

I can't talk about it

because I am not

going to upset myself right now

I have taken notes

on my thoughts

I will get it all out there

Eventually

Many Many Memories

Many Many thoughts

Today was hard

Grammy came home

She did not look like Grammy

not at all

It is hard when you want just one more day

a normal day

Here we go again

the five steps of grief

I feel like I have done this twice before lately

eight months ago I did not even know what they were

Now I know them all to well

I am definity in the

what if guilt phase

I do have many blessing's to share...

#4

Baylen lookin cute in his pjs and sock hat while we were out and about today

Samantha opening up and letting it out

Awesome family...my parents, grandmother, sisters, are all there for me...while I watch my sweet husband and father in law grieve...watching Bo jump on his trampoline