There is a lot of Oh yea's
Like Oh yea...I did not remember that...and for good reason
It is amazing what you forget...I guess that is so you will indeed have more
It has been a great amazing few days...but I would like to recount some things...
First of all I am already missing the turning and leaping in my belly
When I came to the hospital Wednesday morning it brought back memories of being here with Kevin
Just the two of us
Getting into a gown and hooked up to a monitor
It is so exciting
Then is when things go so fast!
I have to say one of my least favorite things in the whole world is getting an iv started
and yet again
It took five plus sticks to get it in
I can't stand iv's hate them with a passion!
Then Mom and Dad come...and the kids come
Then off to prep....we had to go down to the OR this time
All four deliveries have been different
Samantha was at St. Marys and I remember waiting all day for her
Bo was at Regional in a small room....Baylen here too but with a new doctor and bigger room
And this one in the OR
I can still remember how the beds were facing, and how all the rooms look the same..they were still different
I can remember oddly enough how the bed was facing in each surgery
Bo was at 6 o'clock
Baylen was facing at 9 o'clock
and this one was facing 3 o'clock
I remember all of them like they were the same but different
No for the surgery
I will never forget...even though I had forgotten...
How cold the room is
How I hate the waiting of sitting and having your back scrubbed with really cold iodine and having a needle poked in that feels like a very bad bee sting
And then moments later losing all the feeling from you waist down
Then having three people move you onto a table
Totally exposed
You can feel them lifting your legs...like they are as heavy as concrete.
Did I mention there was bright bright lights on you
All modesty is gone...way gone
As if this is not enough
Here comes the nausea
As your arms are strapped down and you can not move your lower body
It is such a great feeling to throw up to the side
Awful
truly
But is is wonderful to have an amazing anesthesia at your head to fix it....and talk you through it
Then Daddy gets to come in
After all is calm and well
I love this part
when I can just see him and we can talk about what is about to happen
I love to see him in scrubs
Then I always hear
I can see the baby
and then we get to hear the cry
Only this time there was no cry
McRae had some trouble with breathing
which was a bit scary
But they assured me all was okay
I am glad they were calm
I could only see so much
I never like the part where Kevin leaves with the baby and I stay to be sown up
And then recover
It is so long
But what I do love is seeing the kids come in and see what the baby is
And all the family gather around
It feels like we were just here doing that.....
Now back to what you forget
I forgot that that first night is so rough
being hooked up to so many things
Having your temp and blood pressure taken on teh hour
and to be awakened by someone wanting to draw your blood
And the fact that they want you to walk in the middle of the night
Which oh my gosh
so hard
you think you will never walk again
It takes thirty minutes to get up and walk to the bathroom
Which is a whole different story when you have had a catherder
Trying to go for the first time must be how a two year old feels when they are trying to go potty on the big potty And then the feelings
that don't seem to line up with the nurse coming in and out
And then everything starts back very early the next morning
And I too forget
How you blood pressure drops in the shower that first time
and how it is so hard just to shower
And how pulling off the bandage gives me the heeby geebies
How your cloths still don't fit
But it is nice to put real clothes and get out of that gown
The itchiness is still there....from surgery...you itch all over
The bleeding and the really cool underwear that is netting is great too...and the pad they give you that you could parachute with....why yes... I feel very glam!
And then the emotions always hit
When your kids are here and have to leave
They are like dominoes
One cry's and then the other and then the others
And then I tear up
It is so hard to be away
But I look at the big picture....
This is just a few days without them
I am enjoying some one on one time with my new guy...
As hard as it is to hold back the tears when number 1 2 and 3 walk out of the room
I know that they love me dearly
And I know that they know how important they are to me....
I say it over and over
I am blessed so very blessed!
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