Last day of Radiation

So this morning I picked up my mother in law for her last day of radiation. I brought her a muffin with a candle in it to celebrate, and we hugged as she made a wish. I have never felt so helpless. I wanted to make her well, but all I could do was wish with her. It is unbelievable to see someone that I have always thought was so strong and so sharp, be so helpless. It reminded me of how we need God each and every day. We are helpless without him. I do not look at this sickness as something God has done, but something that shows us how weak and not in control we really are. God is our strength. When we are down, he is what gives us peace. He does not do this to us, he is there for us through it. Helping her into the car, or I should say putting her into the car was such a humbling experience. Just 10 minutes before I put Walker into the car. Have I said lately how much I hate cancer. It is so evil. It is of this world and not the next, where we will all be cancer free and pain free. My mother in law said on the way, she was so glad she believed in the after life because she just did not know what she would do if she did not. It was so comforting to hear her speak of how much she loved Jesus and knew he died for her. She also said that she was tired and weak. I looked back in the back seat and Walker looked tired and weak too. He is having a rough day, sleeping by me as I type, not much energy today. He and Grammy are feeling the same. Next Thursday will be six months since Riley left me, well her physical body. I can't believe it. I miss her every minute. I know that hard times makes us strong, but I told God today, I feel strong enough and enough with the strength training, can't we take a break? I know that he has a plan and the plan is good. I just pray for him to always give me peace and strength to get through the hard times, and sanity not to go crazy in the journey. Slept on the couch with Walker last night, it was great!
Grammy brought out her mask that she used for radiation and said she wanted Bo to have it. I think it is amazing how she knows just what each grandchild wants and loves. Many things are hard for her to remember and know, but she knows her grandchildren. She is fighting for that memory. Continuing to learn something new everyday. When I get stressed I can't know it all and that there are a million things out there for me to learn and discover, I remind myself that God is placing before me exactly what is needed, right then, right there, at his discretion, not mine. Lets keep pressing....forward, and learning as we go...and praising for the good times!