Whooooo
What a day
McRae I forgot what it is like to have a baby with a bad cold...no sleep for you....
I do wish I had the time to just rock you all day....little did I know that when I had Samantha that is what I could do
Through all the snot...you still smile.....
Baylen...I am trying to prepare myself for tomorrow
Your first day of school...kinda
We went to to your open house today and it was so great
I love how you clung to my leg...but ventured out quickly and loved it
I love signing up for parties....
I love signing up for fieldtrips and seeing calandars about themes you will learn
As much as I think I want you here with me every moment.....I miss so much the things that you will make with your little hands on them....
I have been hoarding you...it is time to let  your light shine....
I treasure all the time we have together though...just you and me...and McRae
He is our side kick
We built so much today, it was so fun....
And then it is amazing how your day can change when two little people get off a bus
We were at the corner to greet them...Baylen in a flash mask and a stick!
Samantha had the saddest look on her face
She said she could not talk about it now....we needed to meet in her room, she said come in when I got the boys settled (yeah right)
So, I went in and the drama started.....it broke my heart....it was all about safety patrol....she broke my heart
To see the look of disapoitment on your kids face is PAINFUL
We talked and talked and talked some more
As I delt with the coming and goings of the boys....crying about torn capes...piper biting them...needed a snack and more juice and McRae's crys
We talked
And then we emailed and got our thoughts out
And then we talked to teachers
and emailed some more
and then it was six o clock
And my afternoon had not gone like I had planned it
at all
and yes
there was guilt
I felt I had given my all to Samantha....
but Baylen and Bo not so much
This then put Bo in a bad mood....because he was getting angry often at his brother....
and there was hitting and name calling
And then it was off to play auditions....which three boys in a small room for thrity minutes...was not exactly amazing
but we survived
and got home.....and had a crazy bath time
lots of water on the floor
clothes everywhere
and running through the house
dishes were not done
tubs were not drained
and dessert orders were being yelled
As McRae would not settle....
Finally
all were set in their beds
and daddy walks in
it always works like that....
but not for long...first Sam was up with needing tissues and to talk a little more
Bo crying because he was not sure he would go to heaven
Baylen needing more snack
and McRae a little more rocking
It is not ten and I can't wait to go to sleep
to start this all again
I try so hard to enjoy every moment....but sometimes being in every moment causes you not to be able to be in every moment....does that make sense?
I kinda dread walking Baylen into school in the am....I will need Gods peace
Thank goodness I will walk out with McRae
even though baylen would not be going if McRae was not here
So goes to show what a blessing McRae is....in so many ways!
Deep breath what a day
Just goes to show you never know what life will give you
I just pray sooooo hard that my kids will always know that I am there for them
That is always my fear
that when I tend to one, the other one needs tending
It is such a balance....

Samantha I love that you love to talk to me
Bo I love that you have such deep deep questions
Baylen I love to watch you play and your lisp
McRae I love how your body molds to me and you just hang on......